are you a people-pleaser?

Are you a people-pleaser and would like to reclaim some of the energy you often syphon off to others?

I found this article from Very Well Mind to be helpful, with tips for identifying these traits and how to move away from them if they are a problem for you.

I know for me that I’m not a chronic over-pleaser who gives and gives and gives until I’ve been sucked dry, but I do tend to be hesitant about asserting my needs, in particular for space and solitude.

These are attachment-trauma issues: I worry that if I assert these needs, the other will feel like I don’t want to spend time with them.

Truth is, that as an introvert, I cannot be fully present to share my company and enjoy theirs unless I am re-charged from any extroversion my day has demanded.

I am a much better person to be around (more available, more present, more able to listen without being distracted) once I have met my need to spend time with myself.

Refusing to meet this need in myself might only be a mild form of people-pleasing but it’s people-pleasing nonetheless and I’d like to be rid of it.

The main tips I got from the article are about setting boundaries and understanding my own goals and priorities, so I have a reference point when I’m considering the choice to sacrifice my time for another.

Let me know what you think